I have been away once again, but this time for a very unfortunate reason.
Just weeks after my mother passed away nearly two years ago, my father met a woman who added so much joy to his life, helped him through his tough time, made him so happy. They both fell in love with each other and brightened up each other's life. I had never seen my dad smile like a giddy teenage boy in love before, but he always did if I asked where he was going and it was to see her.
I'll admit it was a little quick after my mother's death, but who am I to judge? It was just what my father needed to take his mind off of things. He was going out and enjoying himself instead of sitting around depressed.
I met Kari. I remember the first time. My father had taken me and my granny to the pub she worked at for dinner. I remember my first impression of her. She was beautiful. Tall and thin with gorgeous blue eyes. I could see why my dad was attracted to her. She was also a take charge type of woman. She was managing that night and she did it well. Also, she seemed so kind and friendly. She was the type of person that everyone liked if they met her.
Over time, I got to know her more and loved her. We got along so well. We were like two best friends, but she was also like a mother to me. In fact, I got along with her so much better than I had with my own mother.
I'll admit, when my father started bringing her over, I was still very depressed about my mother passing and it still felt like my mom's house. I got over it, though, and realized that it wasn't her home anymore because she was no longer alive. It was my dad's, and my dad needed to move on and so did I.
But it wasn't but a few months after my father and Kari started dating before she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. It was a devastating time for my father, and I was upset too. I knew that pancreatic cancer was a bad one. She was given six months to live. She told my father in the hospital that if wanted out, he should get out then. He wanted to stay. I knew he would because he loved Kari so much.
Kari found a good oncologist and started chemotherapy. She did chemo every other week. It did make her very sick for a few days, but after that she was her same, lively self until her next round of chemo. He hair didn't fall out. She thinned up a little, but would always put weight back on during her off weeks.
Things seemed to be looking better. We celebrated Christmas together on Christmas Eve, she and her son moved in that following April and in May, her CT scan should that her tumor and couple of lesions on her liver were shrinking. Then she made it a year. It seemed like she was doing so well.
My dad proposed to her around August or September. I was so happy! The wedding would be in May 2014.
Then around September or October, her CT scan showed that the tumor was growing again. Her oncologist started her on a more aggressive chemotherapy that she had every week and then took a week off. He hair fell out this time. It was very hard on her body... and also ineffective on the tumor.
She started having bad stomach problems in December of last year. They worsened until she had to go to he ER a few times. Finally, she had a CT scan that showed the tumor in her pancreas had grown so much that it was pushing her intestine shut.
She had to have surgery to cut her intestine further down and hook it up to her stomach. It was a successful surgery; however, the surgeon had gotten a good look at how much the cancer had taken over. She was given 10 weeks to live.
She struggled through four more weeks. She was in so much pain and so sick. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to watch. I hated it for her so much! She was so young. She had just turned 51.
Finally, she got to the point where we couldn't take care of her anymore. Paramedics came to take her to a hospice house. Watching them pick her up and put on the stretcher to take her away was the hardest thing to watch. This strong, beautiful woman that I loved and respected and looked up to so much had withered away to nothing but skin and bones and wasn't in her right mind anymore because of all the medication.
After struggling a several more hours at the hospice house, she died that night.
That was last Friday. Her memorial service is tomorrow.
I loved her so much! It hurt so much to see her in so much pain, and in a way, it was a relief when she died because she was no longer suffering, but it still hurt that she was gone. We had shared so many wonderful times together. She was mother, a sister, a best friend to me.
She was my father's fiancé, his love. She never made it to her wedding day, a day she was so excited about and endlessly planning.
My father and I had lost another big piece of our lives again. Not to mention how much of a loss it was for her family and friends. She was a extraordinary woman in every way, beautiful inside and out. I will never forget her.
Peachysara
